Had a discussion with one of my female friends on Facebook tonight in response to a comment she placed on her status column. It went:-
“ ~ Some words left unspoken are the ones that mean the most. Always listen with open ears because it may just be what you needed and wanted to hear.”
This train of thought cast my mind back to recent and past events. It has always amazed me (and I have been guilty of this myself,) of how little people listen or are prepared to listen. For many adults, being adult, grown-up and being straightforward is the hardest of tasks. Children do a better job! For myself, I have a brain in my head, a mind, and a will of my own. If I have something to say, I say it, irrespective of the consequences, especially if the situation at hand bothers me, worries, pricks at my conscience. I can and have to be true to myself. I always am! It doesn’t always suit everyone. It is not to everyone’s taste. I have lost jobs over it, opportunities even. But at least people know where they stand with me.
The above comment by my friend ‘Lauren’ has as I have mentioned above brought back into my thoughts recent and past events. So much was left unsaid. Previous blog entries have detailed one particular situation, which while I have achieved some kind of closure via my own efforts, namely because the other person involved, began acting Argonaut-like, stopped up their ears with wax to avoid my supposedly siren-like approaches to settle things amicably. The enchanting tones of my voice lost its enchantment on them, as quickly as it caught hold of them. Unless of course, the enchantment never wore off. No matter, I have noted via various sources that every avoidance of me is still evident, even though I have moved on from them and onward with my life.
The above experience is but one of a long list from one’s life experiences. For many people, the simplest things are nearly always the hardest to say or achieve. Never understood that mentality myself but I have bore witness to it so many times. The big difference between previous experiences and the one detailed in my previous blog entries, is every effort was made to ensure there was an openness between us so when the worse came to the worse, there was something in place to resolve any problems. Even a breakup/parting of the ways could be dealt with amicably, without bitterness or animosity. Unfortunately, it wasn’t seen, taken onboard or appreciated by the other person so of course nothing was resolved amicably – In fact nothing was resolved at all or with any kind of satisfaction (for me at least).
Of course this is not a unique situation. The above happens all the time and no one is immune. I sometimes think that as society progresses, moves forward along with advancement, we are as a species, Human Beings, Homo Sapiens, (call us what you will,) are losing the ability to actually talk to each other. The more closely we are entwined with someone, be it in a personal relationship, (especially of the romantic kind,) the less able we are to talk to the other person about things that matter to us or how we may be feeling about the situation we are currently in with someone. It is almost the norm now that when someone decides to walk out on a relationship, the last person to know is the other person involved in the relationship. Verbal contact virtually disappears, any other communication, whether via text messaging, email, social networking, will also disappear. In fact any effort on the part of the person who now finds themselves cut adrift is a total waste of effort. All they will get is that the other person no longer wants to know them, ‘better to leave it for now’ as I was told but no other explanation was given. In my case I found out what the real deal was and the cards were not being dealt in my favour. In order to achieve some kind of closure, I wrote about it, achieved closure on my own terms (even though nothing was resolved,) and moved on. Not long after that, I was getting threats and intimidation for having the guts to write openly about my experiences. The threats were as empty as the promises politicians make during an election year. I heard nothing more. I do however reserve the right to drive the knife in once in a while to remind those concerned that I haven’t forgotten nor forgiven them for their behaviour but I have moved on with my life and the future looks bright and brighter. I wish I could wish them the same but given all that has transpired and the betrayal that came with it, I just don’t have it me to be cordial and well wishing. Too much bad blood and has flowed under too many bridges, too many olive branches were held out and refused for me to be forgiving. I would like to think I could in time forgive but continued ignorance and hypocrisy has reigned on their part for too long for that to happen. Maybe if they were to pick up the phone, write even, who knows? Maybe I will probably have it in me to take that olive branch and prove that unlike them, I have it in me and I am big enough to be able respond in kind, even when they couldn’t, wouldn’t nor cared enough to be that way when I was trying everything my winding wits could find to resolved the problems back in the day.
When Pandora’s Box was opened, evil was released into the world. And after all the ills were released into the world, only Hope remained. Therein lays salvation. For there is always Hope.
Thanks for the thought Lauren x