Thursday came and went. Somewhere in between I slept for several hours, only to be disturbed by a telephone call I could have done without. As I reached over to pick up the ‘phone, I was quickly reminded that I still had a pulled muscle in my back from performing a ‘dead lift’ manoeuvre at the gym on Tuesday. Either that or I had reawakened a long dormant muscle from the dawn of time.
That dealt with, I snoozed until finally I got up went through the motions but still felt at a loss, as I needed my gym session to reawaken me. Maybe I am getting addicted to the whole gym experience. I am stronger, fitter and more energetic than I have ever been but today felt so out of it. The above has been at the price of my other creative endeavours. Apart from writing my blogs occasionally, I haven’t really done any other writing, short stories, poetry, my personal journal or anything else. I am a like a man stuck in time, while everything and everyone else moves around him. It is not the first time I have been in this frame of existence, the difference this time I am more aware of it.
The day has been one of doing household chores and reflection. I haven’t really done this since late March/April but my thoughts have once more returned to deep late Winter of late January through to the beginning of Spring, when someone special enabled me to live a dream and for the first time in many years, actually made me feel truly alive and a person of worth. Judie Tzuke made an offer in her debut single of singing to me, “I’ll show you a sunset, if you stay with me ’til dawn.” This person showed me a sunset, a full moonlit night and sunrise at dawn and a winter sun all in the month of February. All in the space of twenty-four hours! For two months, I was truly alive, vibrant, confident, with much to live for and believe in. Sadly that influence, My Muse, is no longer there. Something missed, something gone for all time it would seem. Still I have pleasant memories of a Winter that I have not had in many years. If life could be more like period between 21st January to 21st March 2010, I would be the happiest, richest man alive, even I had not a penny to my name.
All is not lost. I still have my life, dreams and ambitions that I am working towards. Things could be a lot worse I reflected on as Thursday was just Thursday.