Even for me! I know Life is a Drama and every actor likes a good drama but when one’s life begins to be more interesting than an Eastenders script, then you know that either you are crazy or you have found yourself in your very own Trueman Show via The Twilight Zone.
When you attempt to make peace with the person you admired and then despised with equal measure then you know something worse much worse has happened. And it has. You realise that you are in Show Business, you know Show Business is a tough business, one not for the faint-hearted. All these things you know but when you wake up one day and realise that you are surplus to requirements and all your hard work over the past four years counts for shit. You know what? You make your point and move on. And that decision has displeased someone.
No amount emails littered with profanities is going to convince me that I am an ungrateful bastard who bit the hand that fed him. Other hands feed me and what was missing was a fair day’s pay for a fair day’s work. How am I going continue having a go at someone whose only crime was they stopped talking, we stopped talking and began arguing? They never ripped me off, got the best of me for four years and thought I was part of the furniture. How can I continue to despise someone who had never done any of that to me? You can’t. It no longer makes sense to.
Yes, we had some intense confrontations across the online world but did they take me for a mug? No! I could go but when it comes to situation where it turns out that My Fiercest Critic, actually treated me better than someone I worked for four years, you know the World has been turned upside down or you have gone mad or both.
Like Drama and while I love Acting, recent developments, have made feel that it will be a very long time before I walk into a theatre, let alone perform on a stage again. My natural home and environment was screen acting and that is what I am going back to.
And here is another little fact. The hardest jobs I have ever done were those I never got paid for. The easiest one were the ones where I actually got paid. The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence was a tough film to work on but it was an enjoyable affair. I worked with great people, I never went home tired after a twelve hour day – In fact there was one point where I went home and didn’t sleep at all. I just lay there with my eyes open all night. Then I was up at dawn, got myself together and got back on the bus to the location and did another twelve hour day.
My experience of theatre with this one director was very production was bloody hard work, dedication and effort above and beyond. All this and I wasn’t getting paid. What more can I do? I shouldn’t have been working for nothing in the first freaking place. I could go on but I have said more than I want to say about that particular theatre experience. I am not going to work for that director again and probably not in theatre again so I can sleep easy on that one.
Time to move and mend fences and hopefully rebuilt a few while I go along.