Knowing Who Has Your Back In Times of Crisis


My Dear Father told me many things when we used to have our twice-weekly meetings.  I would pop over to his House on Wednesdays, converse with him, have a drink and watch TV (Coronation Street and Dallas were the Shows of choice back in the day,) and follow the storylines together.  Saturday would be dinner together, usually late afternoon after he had enjoyed his weekly flutter and betting on the horse racing, as well as watching them race on TV.

stock-footage-african-american-father-and-son-chat-together-on-a-couchBut that was my Father all over. He was a Creature of Habit.  He knew what worked for him and he stuck with it.  Each day of the week had a specific meal.  Even when redundancy from his job and an old industrial injury meant he could no longer work, he found something else do or rather expanded his leisurely interests and made that his full-time job.  Horticulture was his main interest. Coming from a family of Jamaican Horticulturists/Farmers, that is hardly surprising but as a young child, watching my father dig up the large derelict area at the top of the garden of our first actual house, little did I know of my father’s background.  How could I?  I was only six years old at the time.  But what I knew was my Father was a hard working man on an industrial scale.  And also … he was right about most things regarding Human Nature.  Not everything but most things.

Now many years later as a parent myself, I find myself being reminded of the time I spent with my Father and the many, many conversations we had about people, their acts, attitude and Human Nature in general.

The past week has been a bad week personally for me and some of those feelings found themselves on Facebook.  My experience with Facebook has been if you are having a good time and life is great, what happens is people will generally celebrate with you.  However if life is the complete opposite of the above, then people will offer words of support, advice and be there for you in spirit.  I was in a bad place last week and the above is what happened.  What was surprising (and it shouldn’t have been,) was the distinct absence of any support from people I have known for many, many years, who oddly enough have Facebook accounts and live in London but were totally invisible.  With the exception of one person I had met a few times some years ago in our capacity as actors, I finally learned (and not for the first time,) who my friends actually are.  One person who is going through a very painful and messy divorce, went so far as to offer financial support.  She has next to nothing but it was the selfless act of the offer that really touched me in so many ways and showed what and who a true friend really is.  I thanked her but declined the offer.

As another contributor to my woes (who has turned out to be a true friend also,) says, people cannot handle the truth or emotion that comes their way.  Even if it has absolutely nothing to do with them and impacts on their life not one iota, they will still abandon you like rats from a sinking ship.

Been down this road so many times before.  More so last year but that is one story I am sick of relating so will leave it and person(s) in the dustbin of time where they belong.

Once again through personal hardship, one once more learns who one’s true friends are.  There is nothing like a personal crisis, upheaval or hardship to reveal the true colours of those who call themselves ‘Friends’.

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